The Scandals are proud to field their 2005 production: Fustercluck.

It will feature all sorts of drum corps classics such as Malaguena, Sing Sing Sing, excerpts from West Side Story and more. The show has no story to tell and no colors to show. Quite honestly, the design team put this show together less than 3 days ago.

We also announce our instructional staff this season:

Director: Kevin O'Neill

Brass Caption: Tim Jackson
Percussion Caption: Tim Jackson
Visual Caption: Tim Jackson
Soprano Technician: Tim Jackson
Mello Technician: Tim Jackson
Bari Technician: Tim Jackson
Contra Technician: Tim Jackson

Front Ensemble: Tim Jackson
Snare Technician: Tim Jackson
Tenor Technician: Tim Jackson
Bass Technician: Tim Jackson
Cymbal Technician: Tim Jackson

Flagline : Tim Jackson
Rifle Technician: Tim Jackson
Bodywork Technician: Tim Jackson


Yes, he's marching a DCI Division 1 line, but Tim Jackson can do it all. He's yet to age out in DCI and is already charging for clinics. This man is amazing. He's also oh-so-dreamy. Watch out for the DC Scandals in '05!

Stay tuned for more updates and announcements!

Scandals Update!

We're proud to announce some of our staff who are involved with key behind-the-scenes operations that keep the DC Scandals a success:

Tour Director: Tim Jackson
Food Director: Tim Jackson
Truck Driver #1: Tim Jackson
Truck Driver #2: Tim Jackson's distant cousin, Jim Tackson (You didn't really expect Tim to drive two different trucks each night, did you? I mean, Tim Jackson is good. Really good. Exceptional, fantastic, marvelous, and other words found in the thesaurus for 'great', but he isn't a master of quantum theory or cloning, so we hired someone reccommended by our staff.)
Personal Elvis Impersonator: Tim Jackson
Security for Jim Tackson: Tim Jackson
Security for Elvis Impersonator: Tim Jackson
Souveneir Volunteer: I forgot his name...what was it...hmmmm... oh...yea... Tim Jackson
Custom Drumstick Whittler: Tim Jackson
Machinist: Tim Jackson

The DC Scandals are just finishing up the drill for the entire show before their first show in their hometown city, Washington D.C on June 18th.

Brass Caption: Tim Jackson
Percussion Caption: Tim Jackson
Visual Caption: Tim Jackson
Soprano Technician: Tim Jackson
Mello Technician: Tim Jackson
Bari Technician: Tim Jackson
Contra Technician: Tim Jackson

Front Ensemble: Tim Jackson
Snare Technician: Tim Jackson
Tenor Technician: Tim Jackson
Bass Technician: Tim Jackson
Cymbal Technician: Tim Jackson

Flagline : Tim Jackson
Rifle Technician: Tim Jackson
Bodywork Technician: Tim Jackson


ROFFLES! Dude, when I read that, I laughed for about 10 seconds straight! That's funny, man..

It is no laughing matter. Tim Jackson can do anything and everything. He is dreamy. The Washington DC Scandals are very serious this season. This is no joke.

We won our first outing in our home city on June 18th with a 69.10. Our show was unfinished, but tonight we will be out in Rockford, IL competing with a finished show against many corps including the second place Brassiers. With our show finished, we should be able to provide some close competition. Good luck to all corps this season.

DC Scandals

I know it is no laughing matter, and congratulations to the Scandals.

I do wish to say however, I hope that Tim Jackson is getting paid a pretty penny..or two.. for this.

WTF are Roffles?

Ya know, it's the way Scooby Doo pronounces "waffles." Not sure how waffles fit into our discussion of Tim Jackson being the best ever, but hey, he said it

And to answer the question...

Tim Jackson is being paid about what would normally add up to the salary of one caption head and two battery technicians. He can do anything, but negotiate a decent contract. Plus, we're pretty stingy with our money; We could barely afford our Elvis impersonator.

Wow. The DC Scandals are making a run for the top! This is simply a result of hard work that the judges finally rewarded us for. None of our changes to the program have been used on a competition field yet, so we're feeling very good about a strong finish. "You ain't seen nothin' yet." says the Scandals' temporary athletic trainer, Mr. C.

Get comfortable seeing the Scandals in the top 5, or even the top 3. We're hungry for competition and here to stay.



Thanks José!

Adding those fluegelhorns really bumped up your scores, didn't they, Kevin? Another slick idea from Timmy J.

<Cue newspaper spinning towards screen reading: Scandals in first!>

thats right...first place! A few changes made this happen. First, we cut the annoying "yowza" guy and the chick that did Bjork vocals. We realized that no one likes them. We also replaced our pit. The pit we have been touring with was simply remedial, while the pit that we hired was getting whipped into shape while sweating hard under the pressure to PERFECT the show. Our new pit is none other than the infamous Marimba Ponies. We've got some ringers! Also, as far as our field show goes, it has increased greatly. The players have been performing better since we started giving them breakfast. Consultant, Jose C., organized the breakfast and told us the key was to make sure they get some Juice in them. Ever since he's taken over temporary food prep and training, the kids have been performing the heck out of their show. They've almost been obsessed about it. I don't think they've slept in days. I'm kind of worried.

And that right there calls for a recount (so to speak) of your Indy scores. The Marimba Ponies are ages 4 - 12. That's a little off from the 14 - 22 range. Expect a complaint to be filed with the BoD.

When the Division 2 "Crazy 88" FDC merged mostly with the Scandals, the players were "grandfathered" with the Div. 2 age specifications. Given that the Crazy 88 folded because their administration was mistakenly murdered by an obsessed and delusional Quentin Tarantino fan, directors around the FDC committee opened their doors to all the veterans of the Crazy 88 group.

In other news, Jackson Flares' director is a lonely, lonely, cold-hearted man.

And it would've worked too, if it weren't for that meddling Tim Jackson!

If the DC Scandals had gone straight to the police, this would never have happened.

The Scandals have shown strength through their last performances, tieing with Whiskey River Regiment almost everynight for the past week. The Scandals have not had the opportunity to see WRR's show this year, but we are told it is very similar to The Scandals' show. All that is known is a consultant by the name of Sparky has been working with both corps. Spirit fingers are a crowd winner.

I predict a tie for the championship (yet another one) between the Scandals and WRR. I'll put $50 down . . . any takers?

I'll put 50 down...only because I have control of scores.

I have a sneaky suspicion that the Scandals are being scandalous again...

So, Mike, will that be cash, check, or money order?

Shhh! You're giving away the secret!

I figured that out about 6 hours and 1 minute after I posted that.
Scandalous!