HURRICANE PROMOTED TO DIVISION 1
Non-Returning Corps Allow Hurricane to Keep Moving On Up

Hurricane Drum and Bugle Corps was officially promoted to DLOFDC Division 1 status early this morning.

"We are ecstatic!" smiled the director. "After only 2 years of competition, we have moved from Division 3 to Division 1. This year, our third year, we would love to make it into the top 12 in Division 1, but we urge our members not to worry about placements... only to worry about giving 100% of their efforts to Hurricane."

The newly-formed Hurricane Mathematics and Computer Science department was slightly less enthusiastic.

"We have to change everything," groaned Math/CS Department member Al Gorithm. "As if things weren't already a little bumpy, now we have this promotion thrown in to complicate caption selections and the bit of math/CS that we may use to help."

"I'm pretty excited," commented Theo Ree, another Math/CS Department member. "I know I'm not involved much, but it's fun to watch everything develop from afar. Kristina had said that there was a remote possibility of a bump to Division 1, and I'm happy for her that that occurred."

"I think it's awesome!" exclaimed 3rd-year tenor captain Cadence Miller. "I can't believe I'm a division 1 tenor captain. I'm so proud of the whole drumline... and the whole corps."

"I'm really, really excited," gushed euphonium player Sarah Marks. "I came to Hurricane thinking I might not be good enough for Division 2, and... now I'm in Division 1!"

"YYYYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" shouted an enthused baritone player, brandishing his water jug over his head.

The response from Hurricane fans has also been overwhelmingly positive, as the amount of donations the corps has received today is octuple the amount from any other day in Hurricane's history. This will be a tremendous help in light of the recent gas price increases. To donate, please visit the corps website, as gas is well over $4 in the Chicagoland area.

DELUCIA INTERVIEWS CORPS DIRECTOR
Secrets revealed? Listen and see!

Dennis DeLucia: Hello, and welcome to today’s Drum Corps International “Field Pass.” Today we will hear from Kristina, the director of newly-promoted Division 1 drum corps, Hurricane. Nice to see you again, Kristina!
Kristina: And it’s great to be interviewed by you again, Dennis!
D: I’m sure it is! Let’s get started, then. First off, congratulations on your corps’ recent promotion to Division 1 status. How do you feel about that?
K: Nothing short of fantastic, Dennis. I couldn’t be more proud of my staff and kids for pushing as hard as they do. Particularly considering my relative absence from the corps last season, these guys did great.
D: Now, speaking of that absence, I was noticing your corps’ repertoire for this year’s show, “Aviary.” I couldn’t help but notice that half the repertoire was also written into the show you performed all last summer. Might audiences get sick of those pieces?
K: No, Dennis, I think not. My corps had a profound, life-altering influence on me, and as such, I just couldn’t keep said influence out of this year’s repertoire. Besides, if I’M not sick of those pieces yet, and I played them all day for 3 months, then how could crowds be sick of it?
D: I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’ve got a point! Now, what’s with the program as a whole? “Aviary” is supposed to somehow relate to your pets, correct?
K: Yes indeed. My favorite parakeet who has ever lived, Zipporah, passed away in December from a thyroid tumor, leaving her sister Ava behind. She was incredibly sweet and smart. My mother then bought another parakeet (and gave her the ridiculous name of “Zippy”… ugh!). We just like birds in my house, Dennis. They are innocent, sweet, adorable creatures and deserve a drum corps tribute!
D: Um, if you say so… So, what’s with this Math and Computer Science Department overtaking Hurricane’s former Statistics Department?
K: Well, Dennis, Hurricane has decided to take a more multi-disciplinary approach to caption selections. Our experts have no idea how it will pan out, and our proposed new strategies were not utilized for our initial caption picks. But we are interested to see the results.
D: Now, some people have complained that Hurricane is cheating by using math and computer science to make more educated guesses instead of purely relying on drum corps knowledge and intuition. How would you respond to these allegations?
K: I would tell anyone questioning my integrity to shove it!!! I mean, I would tell them that they are excellent people who should understand that it’s impossible to cheat at DLOFDC. I’m a geek… not a psychic. You can have all the math and CS you want going for you, and then a corps could suddenly take a turn for the worse or better. My strategies are far from infalliable and I am as worried as anyone else that my caption selections are going to miserably fail.
D: Sounds plausible… yes, yes, good point. Alright, we have time for one last question, Kristina. Rumors are circulating that you’re currently recovering from overuse injuries. Is there any validity to the rumors, and how do you expect to conduct all your director-ly business when you are in arm pain?
K: Yes, I am recovering from medial and lateral epicondylitis in both elbows as a result of playing marimba with a little too much aggression during this past WGI season. I am in physical therapy and am already feeling much better than I was. I expect that this will not have any bearing on my corps responsibilities thanks to very able-bodied staff, as well as the fact that THIS IS FANTASY DRUM CORPS, DENNIS.
D: You know, you do come up with some excellent points! Well, that’s all the time we have for this edition of Drum Corps International’s “Field Pass.” Thank you very much for your time, Kristina!
K: And thank you for yours, Dennis!
D: Tune in next week when Drum Corps International interviews George Hopkins regarding his plan to implement an extra field judge called the “Hash Evaluator” which will add points to corps’ scores if the hashes are particularly worn out. (Just kidding, Hoppy; I like you guys; we’re cool.) Thanks for listening!

HURRICANE FINISHES EVERYDAYS
"Let's blow this pop stand," request members

Hurricane Drum and Bugle Corps members left their rehearsal location in Chicago, IL today for their housing and rehearsal site near Rockford, IL.

Members were starting to get slightly restless, especially given how prepared their performance is. Virtually all participants are anxious to get a taste of the competition.

Hurricane wishes all DLOFDC corps the best of luck this season!

HURRICANE STRONG OUT OF THE GATE
Hurricane 4th on opening day; likely to be strong contender

Staff and members of Hurricane Drum and Bugle Corps are proud and relieved to have placed 4th on opening day in DLOFDC's division 1.

"I didn't know if we could compete with the 'big boys,'" remarked director Kristina. "If this is any indication, however, we should be just fine."

"HELL YEAH!!!!!!!" commented the only member we could get to calm down enough to talk to the press.


STAFF COMPUTER SCIENTISTS SHAKING THEIR HEADS
"What were we thinking?" questioned one staff member

Hurricane's staff computer scientists from the Hurricane Drum and Bugle Corps Math and Computer Science Department are feeling somewhat sheepish today, as they discovered that the techniques they plan to use are totally useless until July 4th.

"What were we thinking?" questioned Al Gorithm, lead programmer. "By the time we implement our strategy, if we implement it at all, the deadline for picking GE captions will be fast upon us. Furthermore, the data prior to July 4th will be pointless (or even detrimental) to use. I wish I knew what I'm doing. Oh well."

Bell Curve, the head statistician, has been hard at work.

"I'm crunching a lot of numbers right now, picking up the slack that this has created," she groaned. "My wrists hurt from making such a detailed Excel chart."

Hurricane staff, members, and fans are all hoping they can still pull together solid caption selections by the deadline.